Inexistence

I've fallen ill again, thanks to an inflammation of my throat. Of course, bodily ailments cannot compare to ailments of the heart. Now I'm down with both...

I finally realise that I have lost most passion in Science, through teaching my nephew. I remember how I was so eager and curious about all things Science. Now I wouldn't go through Primary School again: it is agonising. Perhaps it is the hypocrisy of it all; I don't like to be reminded of how I was thought a fool by those around me. Those I used to respect. Until I grew wiser and learnt that I was right all along. I wonder if they have learnt from their mistakes. Now history repeats itself. I find myself forced to teach the very lies that the textbook spreads. Of course I made a careful effort to warn my student about the pitfalls, but I had to make him swear to secrecy.

Yes, I used to (foolishly) think I was at the top of the world; perhaps now I truely taste my folly. Ultimately, praise, reknown, reputation, what do all these amount to in the end? Perhaps I was right all along that there are no absolutes. True realisation of "self" is undoubtedly more important than all the other "transitional" wants. I quietly laugh at myself for how foolish I appeared to be.