Saving Private Togrias

Ultimately, life in the Armed Forces has been (at least) a gainful lesson on life. However, it's not the way I, or anyone would have expected it to be.

So where's Togrias now? He's now put his future on hold, while serving his time as a odd-job clerk. In the middle of nowhere, fitting into nowhere. He's being cast aside and forgotten, and stuck in limbo in the moment as he waits for a reply from the ever "efficient" organisation so that he may continue with his life.

Ultimately, if the SAF were a person, I would imagine it to be hating me right now. For I expose its dificiencies in a way only pleasant to myself. I manage to tell it in my unique way straight in its face: I cannot be subverted. I cannot lose. They cannot win. For the SAF possesses authority, while I possess power. It may be difficult for some to comprehend, but authority is not exactly power. More often than people realise, it merely gives an illusion of it. True power, however, is different. As I have utterly demonstrated, I control my destiny. I basically control the game now.

How it has ended up in such a situation, where the soldier fights against his own unit, it's too long a story to elaborate. But who can tolerate a place so twisted and detached from the real world, where the would-be scum of society end up as leaders and the brain-dead people with bars and crabs and stars who "work in the mess" all day end up being put in charge of thinking of innovative ways to amend the endless list of standing orders and directives (Having a good deal of standing orders and directives makes me suspicious of their productivity in the first place). While other more gung-ho/demented commanders find means to circumvate unfavourable directives to try and make life as tough as possible for NSFs. People who saw the folly of wasting their life away at a dysfunctional organisation so hopelessly inept and inane.

Life as a soldier has taught me to be fiecely protective. Not of my country, nobody gives a gives a damn. It's all for myself. My identity. My liberty. My rights. That which is most threatened. Ultimately when the day comes I'll emerge from this contrived world unscathed while the foolish continue to wallow in their delusions that they are very important/capable. When the "leaders" finally learn their place sunken deep within the bottomless abyss of society. That'll be the day this dumb/weak guy who can't use his M-16 begins to assume his rightful place.

Inject

As I begin to type this, I realise how utterly stripped I am of my language capabilities. I can't help a feeling of nakedness.

Every time I get the urge to re-blog, I get this overwhelming, inexplicable sense of tiredness. Of not having anything good to say. Either that or I seem to be gagged, being utterly unable to explain myself.

Not anymore. I have chosen the path few dare cross. I've chosen to ignore the words of warning from friends and superiors. I've toyed around with my life so much so that I've reached a point of no return. It's either paradise or eternal damnation now. Yet my life's so cheap nowadays it hardly makes a difference. And I know I'll forever be haunted by my decision which has infinite repercussions.

But no matter. What's done is done. I have fully utilised my "burdens" and turned them into enviable "assets". Today marks the turning point, forever changing my life.